I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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