shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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