I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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