Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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