when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize