Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize