perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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