Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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