hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize