so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize