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We're like a lot better than the average bears
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
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