Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

We're like a lot better than the average bears

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(312): We're like a lot better than the average bears http://tfl.nu/6x8n

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(917): View more from New York City

omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter

(310): View more from California

Whats your twitter name

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(917): omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter (310): Whats your twitter name http://tfl.nu/jdyv

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(650): View more from California

just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.

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(650): just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight. http://tfl.nu/nhc3

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(361): View more from Texas

At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

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(361): At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now? http://tfl.nu/lbi5

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament

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(603): I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament http://tfl.nu/4ewl

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(901): View more from Tennessee

She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.

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(901): She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A. http://tfl.nu/01sf

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(519): View more from Ontario

We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.

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(519): We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job. http://tfl.nu/nll9

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.

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(864): Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants. http://tfl.nu/bdpr

Replies (5) Good night (2014) Bad night (727)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.

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(205): I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that. http://tfl.nu/zu4z

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?

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(336): You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right? http://tfl.nu/gdo1

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(206): View more from Washington

second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be

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(206): second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be http://tfl.nu/jh2s

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.

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(856): Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws. http://tfl.nu/oz69

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(714): View more from California

I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.

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(714): I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters. http://tfl.nu/itk8

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(623): View more from Arizona

Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.

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(623): Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to. http://tfl.nu/084z

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(863): View more from Florida

Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point

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(863): Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point http://tfl.nu/nvoe

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