Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize