Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize