that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize