i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
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