Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize