3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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