I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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