He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
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I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
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How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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