This girl is more easily done than said...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize