the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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