Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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