You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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