from now on my penis is your penis
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize