im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize