..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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