Me too!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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