just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize