is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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