Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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