Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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