I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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