I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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