did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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