TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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