it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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