There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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