i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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