I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
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hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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