just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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