They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize