i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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