You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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