I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize