you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize