He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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