I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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