After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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