what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
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Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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