just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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